It's Behind Us! Oh Yes It Is!

Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it. {Greg Anderson}

It's February!  Nearly March already, and here I am sat at my desk in the actors call centre, after a gruelling weekend back in the bar.  How odd and heartbreaking not to be Buttons!  But before you reach for any sharp knives or high beams... hold on... it's almost panto season (only 262 days for me..... hopefully)!

I mentioned in my last post a theory I have about the future of pantomime... allow me to divulge.

Pantomime has definitely been through a bit of a resurgence in the past few years.  Growing in popularity and attracting a whole range of stars from home and abroad.  After passing through it's Golden age, when every theatre (even in the West End) had a production running, and usually for a lot longer than they do now, the genre suffered a bit of a slump.  Families began to think it was a bit dated and you'd only get the panto faithfulls and Z-list celebs taking to the stage.

It fell to companies like Qdos and First family to reboot the genre, and the introduction of hi-tech special effects became the centre piece of any production.  Who hasn't seen a 3D genie, a flying motor bike or Pegasus the flying horse over the past 10 years or so?  But it worked; more and more people have been flocking to panto's year on year, with companies yearly reporting "smashing" their own sales records.  Companies are starting earlier and finishing later, Evolution productions had two lengthy runs again this year and the Hippodrome played until Feb 2nd.  So obviously the demand is there and hopefully the NDoPP, which I'm involved with will show over the coming seasons, National trends and variations, as we collect more data.

In the past few seasons, celebrities have started migrating back to panto - even 'immigrating' as US stars such as Henry Winkler, The Hoff and Pamela Anderson took to the boards.   Home grown talent too have changed their opinions.  Instead of only seeing names that barely managed to reach Z-List status in 1983, we now see people taking breaks from their regular contracts on soaps or panel shows and companies competing to employ the latest reality star as their 'Hook' or 'Wishee'.  Panto is big business again, and although it never really ever went away, the art form itself has entered a new, reinvigorated era.   

I've been saying for a year or two that entertainment will have to eventually come full circle.  People will tire of seeing the hi-tech, mega glitz of modern entertainment.  In harder times where people cant afford such luxuries, people will start coming back to older forms, which focus on people craft and skill.  This can already be seen with the soaring popularity of the Circque du Soleil in recent years and of course the immergence of "BGT" or Britain's Got Talent - with a number of it's acts going on to panto seasons;  who saw Flawless or Pudsey the dog this year?

So what do people want?  We're bored of some teenie pop idol, warbling a high b flat.  We want to see magic, circus skills, clean comedy (the shock and awe of naughties comedy now wearing thin) and most of all... SLAPSTICK!

"One Man Two Guvnors" has taken the West End and Broadway by storm, as well as securing a UK tour.  Why has it become so popular?  Not only because of the well written script and able talent from all  involved, but I believe it's because it's something a little different, that people have forgotten or more likely ignored.  "Ah slapsticks old fashioned.  It's all Laurel and Hardy" etc etc.  People seem to forget that slapstick happens naturally in lots of everyday situations day on day, and is a relevant and rib busting now as it ever was.

In Guildford, one of the audiences favourite sketches is the "Twelve Days of Christmas".  Twelve different gifts (all amusing like a 'Bra that was meant to hold three') flung around the stage causing complete mayhem, as the comic and stooge slip and slide all over the stage.  As Pc Pongo in Aladdin, I as the stooge, took the brunt of this routine... and I LOVED IT!!!  3149 custard pies in the face in my first incarnation, pots and pans hitting my head and rubber chickens slapping my face.  Knickers thrown into the audience and several tubes of Arnicare to heal the bruises.  The Audiences love it, and in Guildford it has been reprised 3 times in the past five seasons.  This year we had a Riverdance skit and Liberace spoof with collapsing stools and smoking pianos!  Simple, innocent comedy - loved by all the family from 9 to 90!

Obviously we don't want to be catapulted back to the panto dark ages, and a balance of both modern and traditional has to be found.  Looking ahead I think 'Imagine' and a few of the in house productions will be worth watching over the next few years.  With the some of our bigger companies rapidly approaching milestone birthdays, but still repeating their set formats, these break through companies offer that something different a modern audience require.

"Imagine" panto's are full of slapstick, well written gags and colourful costumes and scenery, that remain loyal to pantomimes traditions, whilst adding that 2014 twist, to keep us engaged.  They mainly use comedy actors instead of celebs who may (I fear) just be in it for the spondoolicks and also supply a lot of in-house productions with scenery, from their ever growing stores.  They go from strength to strength and I'll definitely be keeping my eye on their development, with both anticipation and now expectation.

As we begin to emerge from the cloud of harder times, smaller companies are now finding themselves with that little extra cash to spend on boosting their client base.  I assume that within the next year or two, as the apron strings are released a little, people may start investing a little more back into the arts industry.  This combined leads us to the exciting possibility of new or current baby companies taking the leap to the next league.  A costumier combined with a local theatre and a script writer, could for example for quite a team!!

Either way, it's an exciting time for pantomime and panto lovers.  The art form is finally starting to get the credit it deserves, with National and Global appreciation growing year on year.  Only time will tell what happens over the next decade - which companies will emerge, who will fold and who will be top of the bill in Brum come 2024?  And who will be producing that show?  If Qdos, roll out the format they used for "Snow White" this year, they long may reign!  

For me?  I can't shed any light on that one yet I'm afraid.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to share some exciting news soon, but for now we can but wait.  Many thanks to all my readers over the season and to all the people that saw the show and showed support.  It's all appreciated, in the sincerest of ways.  My 'non-panto' blog is in the process of launching so keep your eyes peeled for that and I'm sure (Panto Gods allowing) I'll be back in the Autumn for another panto insight..... hopefully in Guildford.

It might just be me but I do think "Muddles Memoirs" has a nice ring to it...!

'Thanks Gang'
JB - BB

Panto from the Stalls. Laughter, Stew & an Education!

A good teacher, like a good entertainer first must hold his audience's attention, then he can teach his lesson.

John Henrik Clarke

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/johnhenrik212006.html#KIHSwDWcUbvXZIg2.99

"A good teacher, first like an entertainer must hold his audience's attention, then he can teach his lesson." {John Henrik Clarke}
Having made it back to Lewisham Monday night, the past few days have all been about relaxing and making the most of the time off before heading back to work!  On Tuesday I paid another visit to the V&A's panto archive and flicked through a few more gag books trying to quell the withdrawal symptoms and on Wednesday I chilled out at home, playing a game and watching some TV whilst I waited for Sandy to finish work, before making the drive up to the Midlands!

All season there have been two shows I was really looking forward to seeing, "Sleeping Beauty" at the Wolverhampton Grand and "Snow White" at the Brum Hippodrome.  And now the time had finally arrived!

First of all it was Wolvo, and after stopping off at my nan and grandads for a requested stew and dumplings (it's my fave) followed by rice pudding (both home-made) we set off with N&G.  Me and Sandy always get them a ticket for Christmas, as they really enjoy it and it's a great night out.  I've always gone to Panto with my nan... usually via coach on a trip from the local residents association where they live, gobbling our packed sarnies and sweets on the way.  Today however we're much more civilised and instead throw down wine or G&T's!

Joe Pasquale was playing Muddles and this was the last leg of the 5 or 6 year tour for the production.  I've never seen Jow in panto before, but being a fan of his since receiving his "Live and Squeaky" video one Christmas as a youngster, I was eager to see him this year.  He'd been cheeky, naughty and hilarious in Spamalot, pre season, so I was looking forward to a few pointers.  What would follow wouldn't disappoint.

The show was very funny, and Pasquale was on form with lots of energy and madcap gags and slapstick.  The use of a leaf blower and attached toilet roll was a joy and I'm sure that will be cropping up in other pantos over the next couple of years!  If they can afford the modifications of course.

During the interval we all agreed how much we were enjoying it and were happily chatting away when I got a tap on the shoulder.  "I'd heard you were in this evening Mr Brook!"  It was the lovely Martin hope, who was company manager on my first YAT panto.  "Would you like to come and meet Joe after the show!?"  'OMG' (as all the kids say - it's Oh My God for my older readers) YES!!!

The panto was a triumph and although a shining example of the Qdos Panto machine, it showcased some great talent and some lovely moments.  Afterwards I met with Martin and headed backstage where we were greeted by Joe, now changing for the aftershow party.  "Ah you must be Jamie!"  obviously Joe has just been working with Bonnie in Spamalot and Dancing on Ice, so Martin must have mentioned the link.  He was great and gave me a few tips and words of encouragement, before telling me (I explained I was off to Brum the following day) to "send my love to the boys!" refering to some of the Brum cast... unfortunately I'm not yet as well connected as he assumed - but it was nice to think I gave off that impression.

So thanks to Joe for taking the time to see me.  Thanks to Martin for setting it up and thanks to Royston, my grandad for triggering it all off.  We were getting our programme before the show, when my grandad announced to the lady behind the till, "He's just finished panto!  He was Buttons in Guildford!!"  Now I have to admit I went a little red... but this moment of pride from Roy of the Rovers led to the meeting, so it was worth my initial blushes! Tar Pal!

I must mention how wonderful I though Ceri Dupree was as Dame!  He had an elegance and true command of the audience, not too dissimilar to Danny La Rue, from whom he had obviously taken inspiration (actually wearing one of his auctioned dresses in one scene). He looked great, interacted well and with real wit and met all the criteria of a Dame perfectly!  He is someone I'd travel to see in future.

We move to Friday and in Birmingham, after the regular nightmare of navigating the road system and parking of Brum, we were sat in the Hippodrome, waiting for the most anticipated panto of the season, in Qdos' premiere venue, with a production that has received so much coverage due to the list f stars gracing the stage and a TV documentary following the shows progress, and one of it's stars, Panto virgin, Gok Wan.

Gok, was joined by Paul Zerdin & Sam, Matt Slack as Odd Job, John Partridge and his Winning Dorothy Danielle Hope as the Prince and Snow White, with the wonderful Stephanie Beecham as the wicked Queen and GARY BLOODY WILMOT as (his first) Dame!!  Expectations were high!

The Channel 4 documentary had painted a picture that wasn't necessarily favourable for Gok.  It had looked weak and left many who spoke about the show afterwards if it was going to be a car crash.  It wasn't! Although Gok isn't a natural panto actor (or mainly singer) he played his part!  Being the man in the mirror, he quipped with Steph and roused the audience on every entrance.  There were a lot of women there to see him and him alone!  Whether he'll do it again is yet to be seen, but I think Qdos and safely say they got away with it.

As for the rest of the cast. Well... they were a match made in heaven!  Stephanie was granted with such a dominate role, as I'd seen in Guildford, but she still owned the stage and played the villain perfectly, with a little added sauce for the dads.  Partridge and Hope despite the age gap made a 'lovely' couple and I was really surprised with how Hope played Snow White.  There was no sense of "reality star - dumped in to make money" so often seen, and she demonstrated a adept skill in panto acting - it is very particular, believe me!   She wasn't patronising, didn't try to be funny and told the story well.  I'd like to see her again too!

Wilmot was fabulous, and I was only disappointed he wasn't on stage for longer.  I'm sure if he develops his Dame act, he'll be granted more and more stage time - especially in the smaller theatres where he'd be top of the bill.  Why waste the talent and mastery!?!  Paul Zerdin was on form as ever, but I do feel that he maybe needs to change his act up a little now.  I've seen the the audience puppet mask and animatronic puppet routines numerous times now, and it's quite obvious whats coming, as both have been on TV.  In fairness however, he was still very funny and demonstrated why he is top of his game!

But the star of this pantomime for me, and the one who I took away most from over the whole season was Matt Slack!  I'd never seen him before, although PG had told me he was a great guy after working with him a few years ago in Woking, before he converted to the YAT!  I'd love the chance to sit down and pick his brain... ask for a few more tips... and I think he would be a good bloke to just have a pint with too!

His act was so engaging, very easy to watch, without any awkwardness or cringey moments (this does happen sometimes with the older comic/younger heroine combo) and he is genuinely one of if not the funniest panto comic I've seen.  Even Sandy, who's still quite new to the Panto world has said she'd happily travel to see him again!  He has plenty of cheeky asides and rapport with the audience and was clearly enjoying his work.  I took a lot away from that show, in particular his performance, and although I have a different style and look to Matt, there was plenty of material that I'd love to try... it's all been logged in my panto grey matter.

I saw a review describe this pantomime as an 80's variety show with a few lines of story.  This is definitely not the case.  Yes the show features some variety... but don't most pantomimes?!  And for me it's a nice route for Qdos to be heading down... a theory that I will cover in my next and in fact final post of the season!

For now, Ta-tar
JB - BB

No Rest For the Wicked!

When you start out in a team, you have to get the teamwork going and then you get something back.  {Michael Schumacher}

They always say that "All good things must come to an end" and although I'm always disappointed when the season comes to a close, this year I was truly gutted! It had been a tough one, what with new challenges, illness and flooding but blimey I had some fun.  And after the season ended on that Sunday.. the fun didn't stop there.

Monday morning, and I find myself in Debenhams, plate in hand collecting my "eight item breakfast" and coffee.  I pulled out a chair and set down with my new "workmates!"  It was the YAT crew, and today I went from "honorary" member to full blown, 'blood, sweat and tears' worker.  Liza has asked me (as she had last year) if I was free to help with Panto clear up.  As I was unable last year, I thought this was the perfect opportunity to earn my stripes.  Sandy was working Sunday and Monday so there was no rush to head home and as she had pointed out, it was a kind of closure for the run. 

I wasn't ready for the shock and trauma of seeing the stage so bear and unpanto like so soon though!  Obviously the set had been struck by the crew Sunday evening, and all that was left were lights, a few props and lots of "stuff" that we were there to sort and pack away. 

Now I make no claims to be a strong physical type.  I am what is known as... weak!  But I got stuck in as much as I could.  I was hoisting chairs from storage, moving lots of 'heavy looking' boxes and sorting hundreds of screws and fittings.  One of my main jobs - which I loved was painting the stage.  Paint rollers on long broom handles painting the floor.  There was a team of four of us, including Orla from wardrobe and follow spotter Rosie, who I managed to trick and block in with my paint.  I told you we had fun!  Poor girl had to take her socks off and walk across the wet paint... I felt no guilt!

Then we headed out side, in the rain to dispose of some debris from the flood damage.  I'd taken my shoes off to avoid the paint and opted for my much loved panto slippers (already in need of replacing) which were now obviously getting... quite wet.  Unfortunately they went into the skip themselves  a little earlier than anticipated.  It emerged that a homeless (or maybe a drunk) had decided to leave us a little "parcel" by the watersheds, which my slipper somehow managed to find!  In I went to find an alternative... the company wellies, last worn on stage as a joke when we were flooded.

We had created a chain of people passing all the sodden wood and boards down towards the skip.  At one point some small wooden dowling rods were being passed along the line, one by one, prompting Rosie to ask "Where have all these poles come from?!"  Still obviously in Panto mode, "well that's the new immigration laws" I replied!  We even had a member of the public joining our chain to help pass the rubbish at one point.  How cool are we if we make trash removal look fun!?

The Brit for lunch and quite simply an amazing burger... Going to be a long time before I regularly frequent this place again!

After lunch and now the sad bit.  Chopping up the theatre Christmas trees.  Two of them have been on the roof during the season and after the crew managed to get them down it was up to me and Scott to break them down and skip them.  The plan was that I would take off the branches with the axe, whilst Scott used the Chain saw, to break up the trunk... perfect for Liza's fire!  Unfortunately he had some 'technical difficulties' and by the time he'd got power, I'd stripped by tree... and gosh that was hard work!  

Thankfully though I didn't lose any fingers or toes. Although I probably have pneumonia from being out in the heavy rain and thunder storms!  I was soaked to the bone!

We had to laugh at the image on the front of that weeks Surrey Advertiser if anyone realised who I was whilst chopping away, outside the theatre.  "Panto star destroys Christmas!"  thankfully no such report went to print!

It was great to spend the day with the crew!  We had a laugh, as we knew we would and ended the day, after I'd showered and put my only change of clothes and socks in the dryer, by playing dodgeball on stage.  The iron was brought in to create a walled court and the balls from our opening number became the 'ammo' for the game.  It was so much fun, although unfortunately my team didn't win.

There is only ever one way to end a shift for the YAT crew and that's a trip to the Brit, so we were back for a beer or seven (just one for me - driving) and a fantastic spread laid on by Liza and the pub!  We had sarnies, pork pie, quiche, some healthy muck and... best bit of all... Cadbury's fingers with dipping sauce!!!  That is an idea that shall soon be created at Number 43!!  We all had a great chat and a giggle, before I said my goodbyes and set off for home.

I'd left all my gear in the dressing room, knowing that it would be easier to collect it today and so popped back into the Arnaud after fetching my car.  The corridors were only dimly lit by the emergency lights and the place was eerily quiet.  I've wondered the backstage area alone before, when I used to work here, but it felt very spooky, considering the hustle, bustle and excitement I'd become used to over the past two months.

I popped into PG's dressing room, now missing his sleeping bag, false lashes and yankee candle - odd to see it so empty.  I then headed up to my own room and removed all my stuff before, sitting for a moment or two thinking about all the fun and achievements of the past 9 weeks.  I even had my own underscore... I'd recorded the band playing the overture before we'd finished!  How Melancholic!!!

Thankfully I still have some audience viewing to cheer me up!
JB - BB

Another "Fantastic" Panto Season Ends

"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it." {Greg Anderson}

It's all over... Oh yes it is!!  And I couldn't be more disappointed!  I've had such a great season and it's been such a joy getting to finally play the lead comic.  And hopefully it won't be my last!  As it was our final show, and keeping up with my trend of altering my rhyming couplet, today I did it for the final time with "This Panto season's at an end and it's truly been a blast.  So love and thanks to audience, our wonder crew and cast!"

And it wasn't just me changing it up.  Will (Danidini) had said to me he wanted to try and catch Kit out and wondered if he should change his couplet.  I offered up a couple of alternatives, one of which he eventually went with, along with a warning that "by the time the audience have clapped, Kit will have thought of something else."  'For six weeks I've stuck to script but this trick I cannot miss.  So shimmer over here Kitty and grab yourself a kiss!" was the line he went with and it got a nice response from the audience... and Kit!  he cheered and ran over for a smooch, providing him more than enough time to rearrange his couplet unscathed.  When the curtain came down, a cheer went up and everyone hugged with congratualtions and some sadness.  I caught Kit, who said Will had caught him off guard. "Who could've written that?" I asked him knowingly.  "You!  You little..." and I won't put the expletive to paper/screen.

Obviously we didn't have Bonnie for our last two shows, she was skating, so we said goodbye to her on the Saturday evening.  For this occasion I'd planned to say "So the Baron's paid my wages, to be rich is rather nice. So I'm off to buy a new TV to watch my Fairy Bride on ice!" This time though, it was Kit who got there first, having a similar idea mentioning "for all of us, go get 'em on the ice!"  A more fitting tribute... but I had to refer back to my scripted couplet as I couldn't rhyme "rink" or "blades" quick enough.  So thanks to Bonnie for being so great during the run and good luck on the ice!

There was lots of funny goings on and mishaps for our final show... and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way!!  Reports just into the new year said we had a very small audience for the final show, but by the time Sunday came we had a nice crowd in, with lots of people who had come back for a second time.  A friendly audience meant we got laughs in all the right places and lots of wrong places too! 

Now as regular readers of the blog will know, the word 'mishap' is synonymous with PG and KHH.  Following their final rendition of "Together Again" just as they were leaving the stage Kit's wig toppled off, leaving him exposed and in a fit of giggles.  of course, as I've mentioned before, they enter straight away in the next scene and have econds to redress the wig, so innevitably it never looks quite right.  And Sunday was no exception.  Yet again we were all in a fit of giggles, only for PG's wig to come off when he fell off the bench.   Dave, second in command on the crew took loads of pictures for me from the wings... unfortunately you don't see the wig off here...

The Kitchen scene was lots of fun too.  Knowing that Alice would have learnt my tongue twister "BFFWLYAWALYETYOLMLAB" ("best friend forever who loves you and will always love you even though you only love me like a brother!") after teasing her with last week, I'm suppose to cut her off after 5 or 6 letters, I kept silent and let her do the whole thing and take a round!  S

he looked relieved!

We had numerous hecklers in again tonight.. and this scene provided thems plenty of opportunity.  Thankfully as tonight was a friendly crowd the heckles were well placed and easy to handle.  My favourite was the quite common "I'll marry you Buttons!" tonight yelled by a fella, to which I replied... "No thanks mate - you've got that little extra something that I just don't go for!"  that got a good laugh and I looked back down to my diary... when I looked up and added "And notice the word 'little'!"

Talking of my diary... Vicky came up to me after the show and said "I know you're quite sentimental.. would you like this?!"  so my diary now actually belongs to me... along with all the rude/funny messages and pictures I penned to try and make the others corpse. 

Vicky and I are both big Gary Wilmot fans, and I had arranged with the blessing of Jamie barber that I would make an extra entrance on the final show.  Firstly in the woods I copied his old trick of leaning up the cloth tree which not too many cottoned on to... I didn't do it for long enough!  But then in Act II, just outside the ball, there is a cloth that has a fountain on it.  During the blackout I rushed on before the ensemble entered and stood, hands cupped, swigging the 'water' as they came on.  I wiped my mouth, looked at the audience and ran off, getting a great response... so I shall be looking to the sets for more laughs in future.

My final note in this post reverts us back to the ghost gag scene.  As I was at on the bench by myself, nobody else on stage and the audince there in front of me, the realisation of this run hit me.  Without trying to make this sound like a scene from a Hollywood weepy, things seemed to go into slow motion and I could see myself from behind, in silhouette doing the routine.  In that instant I thought back to rehearsals, opening, the reviews, all the laughs and a sense of pride washed over me.  I had done it!  We usually let out a little cheer at the end of the sequence during the routine, but in this finale show, feeling as proud as I did, out came a massive roar of excitement!!  This was one happy Brook! 

I hope I've put any doubters to bed and made many people proud.  I also hope that the powers that be will feel that they made the right decision in taking the gamble on an unknown.  The feedbacks been positive and the reviews favourable... but you're only as good as your last job... so lets hope I'm in a similar role next season!

For now it's good bye, but don't worry!!  There's a 'post panto post' or two to follow.

JB-BB 

The Final Catalogue of Gaffaws

I'm happy that I have brought laughter because I have been shown by many the value of it in so many lives, in so many ways. {Lucille Ball}

I think it's been pretty obvious over the course of the run how much fun has been had by cast, crew and audience alike.  As I've mentioned before, the main aim is always to entertain the audience whilst telling the story, but if you can put together a group of people who genuinely enjoy what they are doing and make the most of the pantomime season together, this can only be a positive - and this is exactly what it's been like at the Arnaud this Christmas.  We're even blessed with a great group of Juves and Chaperones!!  

The posts of my "Brummie Buttons Blog" have been litered with jokes, ad libs, tumbles and fumbles from start to finish, combined with the drama of hecklers and flooding to spice things up a little and make this year one not to be forgotten!  As it draws to a close we have a final post featuring some of the mishaps of the final few shows. 

I was over joyed to get the Nunn joke in one evening.  We'd got a rather lively X-Mas party on the first few rows, all very jolly and wearing sparkly hats.  "oh look, we've got three nunns in this evening Ladies and gents!  Aint got Nunn, don't want Nunn and never gonna get Nunn!"  This is an old favourite of mine so was chuffed to get it in, even if it was only once.

In the final week and a half, Cinders hat in the kitchen/dress up scene has become a star in it's pwn right... upstaging us more than the plopping ponies.  Quite by accident initially the bow flopped over Alice's face so she had to flick her head back to get it out of her face.  This allowed me to mimmick her   through out the song, which always went down well, even on occasion having to get down onto my knees to attempt to look under the hat to see her face.  Sometimes I'd ask her if she "had torrets".

On performnace PG had a little mishap with his make up, coming onto stage with slightly... what's the word..?!... SCARY eyebrows!!  They were so high above his eyes that he a constant look of shock and surprise on his face.  I started laughing in the wings, before I went on but couldn't hold it in.  "Are you alright?  Have you had an accident with your eyebrows?"  PG being PG played up to this for the rest of the Act, pulling faces and staring at me whenever he got the chance.  That evening he came on again... this time having painted on very thick, diagonal brows, which made him look furious!!!  Obviously there were references to this throughout.

PG was the cause of much on stage giggling a show or two later when he broke the chair whilst trying on the slipper.  He sat down preparing to do his slipper switch, but was completely thrown by a very loud cracking sound... I will never forget the look on his face, laughing as I write this, as he turned his head towards me with a mixture of hillarity, fear and the unknown.  Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on which way you view it) the chair didn't give way.

He obviously has to blame someone for the dodgy chair, that being me.  Earlier in the same show, during the kitchen scene Alice had accidently knocked the chair over when she stood up describing what the Uglies had done to her ticket.

"TEMPER TEMPER!!!  It's alright Cinders... calm down.... Don't have a strop!!!" I told her, resulting in a corpse from Alice.  Moments later when Cinders had 'turned me down' I walked over and knocked the same chair over, looking at Cinders and saying "hmm!" - a strop of my own.  In PG's mind, it was this that weakened the chair.  We think not... the trial continues!   

Another thing I always smaile inwardly upon hearing on stage, is a really loud and over the top laugh from an audience member.  Maybe you've got a guy who laughs like Frank Bruno or a child that laughs in all the wrong (or right) places.  Or perhaps maybe you have a lady, quite excitable, who has a rather high pitched trigger laugh.  Well one evening thats exactly what we got.  "Blimey, I called out in the kitchen scene as I exited "who let the hyena in?  Are you alright love?!"

It set up beautifully for when I came back on in my tiger onesie... after the initial laughter caled down and I'd done my 'roar' I turnbed to the woman and said "careful luv, I eat hyenas!!!"  another great response!  I kept this theme a couple of shows later, when I heard Kit mention the lady he was picking on with the ball ticket, was wearing animal print.  "I don't know what animal it's meant to resemble, but it's an animal all the same!' I heard.  So I went on and when Cinders referenced the audience member for 'ripping' her ticket I followed it up with "Oh... Julie(?) how could you?!  And dressed like a Zebra as well!"  This got a nice laugh and pbviously set it up for "Careful luv, I eat Zebra!"

The final gaffaw I can tell you about spawned from the disaster the theatre had gone through over the Christmas weel.  So it's quite nice that something good came from the trauma.  I've already mentioned how we were referencing the floods thoughout certain shows, but this takes the prize!  I'd been thinking all run... the way Tom (Princey) flies backwards when pulling the slipper off Kit (false leg skit) we're going to lose it in the pit one night.  Sure enough this did happen... and it happened when the pit was still under two foot of water.  We al watched in the apparent slow motion that always happens in moments like these, as the show fly up into the air and down, smack bang into the middle of the flooded pit, resting on the now floating decking.  30 actors and 600 audience heads fllowed it as it plopped into its watery grave!  

Obviously there were plenty of ad libs flying around.  "Oh dear Cinders you're going to have soggy feet now!"  "have you got any wellies Cinders?" etc etc.  But obviously we were stuck... we didn't have a shoe to try on.  immediately I thought... we must get Cinders out the cupboard!  I cut the script and called out from down centre... "it's alright boys and girls... Cinders told me she still has the other show, but I haven't seen her, have you?!"  Cries "in the cupboard" came flooding down as hoped.. we were back on track.  that was however until a crew member, unaware I'd got a plan and trying to be helpful, grabbed the second shoe off Cinders and passed it down stage left to Tom.  

"Ah!" I said... "ok someone else had another plan, so what we're going to do ladies and gentlemen is pretend that the past 30 seconds haven't happened."  It was great for the audience!!  When we got to the scripted section for getting her out of the cupboard I played on the "Deje vu" and "right as I was saying a few moments ago...!"

But obviously the fun wasn't over there.  Cinders didn't have "the other shoe" anymore so we had to try and get around that, and poor old Cinders was hoping around on one heel, causing great amusement for the audience.  

The door knocked!  "Who could that be?" the baron asked.  Me:  "probably the RNLI coming torescue the show!"  and when I was doing my round up before the songsheet I told everyone how "cinders was running around the palace in circles!" acting it out as I told them.

I couldn't let the moment pass of course and so my rhyming couplet became 

"So the Baron's paid my wages, the cheque it has come through,

so I'm popping into Guildford to get Cinders a new shoe!"  cheers from cast and audience in appreciation for what had unfolded!

What a funny and eventful run!

JB - BB

The Hecklers Training Ground

Laughter is the valave on the pressure cooker of life.  Either you laugh and suffer, or you get your beans or brains on the ceiling. {Wavy Gravy}

There were a lot of things making me nervous about Panto before we started.  Lots of pressures and expectations.  But out of all of them three were more dominant.  The singing or rather the carrying of a song, the songsheet and handling the children and finally the ad-libbing. I like to think I've proven my ability to follow the script and get the comedy across, but in these three areas, I would be laid bare!

I see as many pantomimes as I can each season, read and watch lots of comedy material, and have researched lots of gags and skits in the V&A's panto archive... always jotting down good ideas and funny gags - hoping they will commit to memory.  This research has served me well over the run, giving me a substantial ammo, to use in different situations... not least against hecklers.  

I love a heckle.  In the right place and time, a well judged heckle can make the show for some audiences, especially if the Dame or lead comic has a witty retort.  There are certain places in the show where I came to expect certain lines from the audience or even cast members and would be a little bit disappointed if they didn't come.  

One of my favourites came quite early in the run, when I explained that there was "no one left for" Buttons.  "Marry the Sisters" came a giggly ladies advice...  "No thanks Luv!!  They have that little extra something that just doesn't do it for me!"

We had two very helpful childen (on seperate occassions), who upon hearing Cinders tell me that she loves me "like a brother" shouted "You're mean" and "That's a bit harsh!"  These were gifts.  We both false corpsed a little and I continued my lines "Like a brother?  That's a bit harsh/mean Cinders!"  Reusing the heckle really struck a chord with the audience and always got a good laugh, so I'd try and do that whenever possible.

Then of course you get heckles which, if not handled correctly, could jar the plot somewhat.  We experienced a few times, especially with the pre-Christmas school audiences, children advising Cinders not to marry the prince... "Say NO!!!  Marry Buttons!!!"  I'd often react with a cheeky smile, wiggle of the eyebrows and the occassional thumbs up, which often worked really well, if I was at the time, head down and sulking.  Then there was the kid who kept shouting "she's in the cupboard" throughout the whole scene, even before all the characters were on the stage.  Obviously you have to listen to the audience, and if you have a rowdy bunch in and have to skip ahead a few lines thats no big problem... but, a whole scene?!?!  Eventually I called out... "We know she's in the cupbiard, we've read the script - bare with us we'll get her out in a minute!" 

I love with a capital L people whistling or shouting out comments like "I'll marry you Buttons" or "we love you Buttons"... it's a friendly heckle and gives lots of scope for reaction.  "I know luv, you're only human" "Calm it darling" or "I don't blame!" are all effective.  Usually once someone has shouted and you've passed comment that's it - you move on, but one particular show we had a very frisky lady, sitting at the back of the theatre.  She'd made comments about loving Buttons and I'd replied each time, adding in another fave of my... "Thank you sweetheart - dressing room five!" but she simply didn't stop.  Eventually I made a gag about her not following the conventions of panto and "spoiling the show!" telling her "I'm trying to do some serious acting here!"  It was all done in good spirit though, so she even made it into my rhyming couplet...

"The Baron's paid my wages and the money I don't lack.

So we're going on a double date with the woman at the back!"

Panto is family entertainment, and as I mentioned you can rest pretty easy that any heckles will be friendly, polite and probably aid you in the comedy stakes.  Imagine how shocked I was then, to receive the heckler from hell....

It was the monday night before New Year's Eve and everyone was in good spirits!  The show went up and straight away from Bonnies entrance this guy started making silly comments.  Tom would come on, when announced as 'Prince Charming' to which would come "he wishes!" and the sisters took their share of the aggro also.  But I think it's pretty fair to say that I took the brunt...

Now, before I go further I need to clarify, the man in question was a family man, with his wife and children, simply trying to have a good time; although myself, the cast and the rest of the audience would probably question his timing and humour.  It started with banter regarding my accent... but not the usual word or two, he was throing in whole sentences and phrases, trying to be funny and suggesting that the reason Cnders didn't love me was because of my voice.  A positive "I Love you Buttons" from a lady elsewhere lead to me telling him "see... some people like me accent!"

But this man simply didn't shush... he was relentless and although I came back to his jibes as best I could, eventually I ran out of ammo.  I'm a comedy actor after all not a stand up turn.  The final scene with Bonnie and Alice, was difficult and I could see on other audience members faces that they were getting tired of it.  We decided tto try and ignore him the best we could and not to react to any more of his jibes.  Easier said than done of course.

We arrived at the ghost gag scene and I am suddenly left alone, centre stage with two water pistols.  I couldn't miss the opporunity.  "Now, what is the current conversion rate?  I think it's two squirts for every heckle!"   wry smile and a slow, turn of the head in his direction, prompted a knowing round of applause from the audience.  they knew whatw as coming and could obviously tell I now had the upper hand.  Yet still he shouldn't abuse... "i aint afraid of ya!" etc etc.. that was until the ghosts all ran on with pistols... "See mate.... I've got friends! - Ok goolies... GET HIM!"  suffice to say he got a soaking. 

I did think at one point maybe this bloke was paid to come and put me off... he was obviously a pro.  In my final "sympathy grabbing" scene he called out that I should "get the coach back to Digbeth, Cuz no woman around here will love ya!"  Charming fellow.  I had to tell him "you're not home mate, you cant shout at me like you do your TV!"

To add to my trauma, another fellow shouted out that he'd marry me, which led to me telling the audience "All I'm left with is Him (the proposer)...HIM (Mr Heckler).... and my memories, all bad ones tonight!"  And low and behold I only got two kids up in the song sheet, both of whom were the hecklers.  

"Do you find your Daddy shouting out funny?!"

"NO!"

"Thank heavens ladies and gentleme, it doesn't run in the family!"

Not only that, the stage door keeper decided to add a joke name to my shout outlist.  I normally check all the names, just in case, I used to put false names in when I was ushering, but this show I was too busy and too flustered.  I went on and shouted with a ounce of shame "Happy 65th Birthday to Hugh Jayness! Where's Hugh Jayness!  Oh no.... is that a joke!!! "  I looked into the wings, "Tonight of all nights!  Really?!  After I've had to put up with him?!"  I think the audience felt my pain.

To close this rather lengthy post and an evening that seemed to go on forever, I altered my rhyming couplet to;

"The Baron's paid my wages and it's quite a hefty packet.

So I'm off to buy a Muffler for the guy who's made a racket!!!"

Thanks for the education mate, but please.... Don't come again - at least not until next year!

JB - BB

A New Year... but the Naughtiness Continues....

The trickster's function is to break taboos, create mischief, stir things up. In the end, the trickster gives people what they really want, some sort of freedom. {Tom Robbins}

Well a lot of us may have been battling bugs this past fews weeks, but we certainly havent let it dampen our spirits.  And now as we approach the end of the run, everyone is really relaxing into their roles and enjoying themselves, before its all over.

I've purchased a few little masks and trinkets, that I can use from the wings to try and make the ensemble chuckle... not whilst they have to speak I hasten to add.  Just a bit of fun.  So far we've had comedy glasses, the Queen and a pig to name a few.  They are at least the ones I am able to describe, with young readers in earshot. 

I had another 'little angel' up on stage last week; a young American lad, quite sure of himself but a comedy gift.  He had received an iPhone for Christmas, despite only being about 6 or 7.  Why I wonder would someone this age need an iPhone?  But it seems to be quite a common thing.  

"Now, if you struggle with the words don't panic...." i began to reassure the kids, before being cut off.

"I know the words, because my music teacher taught it to me!"

"Oh right.  Ok then!  Well i suppose if you struggle, you can always look up the lyrics on you're iPhone!"

Nice laugh from the audience and back to to preparing to sing, before he interupts again.

"No, because I've left my phone in the car!" this kid meant business.

"Oh you've left your iPhone charging in your Porsche have you?!  never mind!  Anyway..."  another good laugh and this time silence.  I think the Guildford audience liked the whole banter and the lad was in fact lovely!

This did lead to the first of numerous changes to my rhyming couplet, at the end of the show.  I'd already rewritten mine, to make it relevant about my accent.  "So the Baron's paid my wages - I'm rolling in the dosh.  So I've ditched me Brummie accent and started speaking posh!" which always gets a good reaction, after my accent has been ridiculed throughout the show.  So this night I changed it to [The first bit always remains the same, So the Baron Paid my wages.] "...I have a fortune of my own.  So I'm popping into Guildford to buy a new iPhone!"

Another reinvention of the couplet came when a little girl of four, when asked her favourite character during the songsheet, replied "Snow White!" to which I replied about her being "a year early!" and "I liked Snow White as well!"  At the end I said "... my fortune is a sight. So I'm off down to box office, for some tickets to Snow White!"

Poor old Alice, being on her feet for most of the show, has on a couple of occassions been having to really squeeze her foot into the slipper in the final scene, which always gets a knowing titter from the adults.  One night last week though, the damn thing just wouldn't go on, to the amusement of all the cast.  Another couplet change, "... no more money issues.  So i'm popping into Primark, to get Cinders bigger shoes!"  That was a nice one, as most of the changes refer to the audience not the cast.

And before I go, just a quick note.  Hope everyone had a very Happy New Year!!  Best wishes to you all for 2014!!  Let's hope its a good one for us all, with lots of love, happiness, health, wealth and PANTO!!!  Me and Sandy definitely kicked the year of well with Nerf gun battles around the flat and smoke alarm triggering, sparkling candles!!!  What a night!

JB - BB