Santa Comes Early in Pantoland

"Tradition is a very powerful force." {John.P.Kotter}

It is a tradition of the crew at the Arnaud, as well as organising events like the quiz night, the murder game and film nights etc, to host a grab bag party... Also known as secret Santa!  You pick a name from the hat in secret as is customary and buy a present for that person.  Genuine, jokey or just generic.  

Then a couple of days before Christmas, between shows the crew set up the stage for the party.  We all toddle down to find a massive table filled with meat, cheese, bread, crisps, cakes, juices and lots of party food.  As well as a little bit of healthiness of course; cucumber, celery, carrots etc.

For me it was another opportunity for a crew cheeseboard!! 

Then the magical moment arrived, Father Christmas and one of his reindeer.  It's a shame but Chris Tindall and Sooz always seem to miss him.  I received a box of Cadbury buttons! a wolly hat and a pair of socks which say best friends forever.... I guessed straight we away who they were from, but she (our Cinders Alice) had written her name on for good measure.  

PJ received an inflatable , remote controlled Dalek, which bought much amusement and even made one or two sneaky appearances in the show.  

You've gotta love the Arnaud Crew!!

JB - BB

The crew commander & chief Liza.

Balls, Boobs and a Bothersome Bench

There are but very few men clever enough to know all the mischief they do. {Francois de La Rochefoucauld}

We seem to have had our fair share of mishaps and naughtiness going on the past few days, with all sorts of things happening when they shouldn't and one or two of the more senior actors (and me) running amuck. 

Our first faux pas I shall mention, is the usually so innocent Alice Baker (Cinders) using a rather unfortunate choice of words, when trying to usher the Uglies out of the auditorium she called to the audience, 

"Go on, tell 'em where to go!"

"I beg your pardon Cinders!?" I asked in shock.  Poor Alice hadn't realised what she'd said, but it made me chuckle, and her blush! 

Now there are times in Panto where things are made to look accidental or appear that they have happened for the first time.  It usually happens naturally for the first time and then evolves with the run.  A classic example being the sisters mocking my accent.  These moments often result in a 'false corpse' where an actor seemingly laughs out of character... Although they have probably laughed in the same place 47 times previously.  

Another example, but one that doesn't happen every night, and has a lot to do with whether I can catch him out, and/or whether he is willing, is where PG or peachy falls off the bench in the ghost gag.  The legs are positioned so that if the person on either end is the last person to stand the bench will tip.  If I can catch him out PG ends up rolling around the floor, allowing me a lovely line "well we didn't do it like this in rehearsals!"

You may notice a bit of a theme running with these mishaps... Two actually.  The ghost gag and... Peter Gordon!  Skip ahead a show or two and we find ourselves in the same spot, PG's rolling around.  I went to help him up as I normally would, not noticing that he had already got to his feet.  What ensued was a pair of perfectly placed hands, upon Peachy's ample breast.  "Excuse me!" PG called through laughter, as I shook and blew my hands towards the audience, stating that I thought "my luck had changed!" 

And it would turn out my luck was changing, for better or worse you can decide.  Maybe it was the festivities in the air, maybe one or two too many sherries had been sunk the night before or maybe they just couldn't (and who could blame them) resist, but over the weekend a particular area of my anatomy, below the waist but above the knee, has been fondled by a member or three of the cast!! 

First of all our confirmed reoffender, Peachy!! We had, unusually for us, found ourselves on the bench yet again in a fit of giggles.  PG puts his hands out to my knees, as is set in the handclap routine.  Unfortunately for him, I had found myself a little further forward on the bench, and so instead of a gentle slap on my right knee, he found the aforementioned region.  "Oh I say missus!!! Keep your hands to yourself!"  Thankfully what had happened came across to the audience and they were able to share in Peachy's cheap thrill.

Next it was the turn of our Baron, Robert, who had a bit of a shock when, putting his hand to his side, as he does every show, for a reassuring grasp on Buttons' arm upon the arrival of the Royal Prince... Suddenly found himself in the possession of some Crown Jewels of his own!! Off stage and through a cheeky giggle Rob asked, "did I shake grab you by the ....." Let's say 'bull hooks' for the sake of keeping this Cert.PG!!

Could Buttons take anymore of this cast caressingI hear you cry!!  Well only one way to find out... Me and Cinders are upstage, looking on disapprovingly at the sisters torturing the Baron! when she too looked to Buttons for comfort.  Cue an even bigger blush from Cinders and an "excuse me Cinders - mind your hands!"  All in all and "uplifting" couple of shows! 

In other news: I'd been saying to Sandy and a few people at the theatre, that it was a good job this winter has been quite mild so far... With the amount of rain we've been having, a few degrees colder and we'd have been buried.  The ran has been so heavy, that as I was standing by prompt corner at the Sunday matinee, waiting for an entrance, I noticed a drop of water splash onto the pit monitor.  "What was that!?" - no one seemed flustered, I don't think anyone believed me, until I showed them the back of a now wet screen.  By the evening show a special "Vicky Jukes Prompt Pod" had been fashioned from some tall polls and some plastic sheeting.  Suffice to say I think poor Vicky got a bit hot and steamy, wrapped up like last nights left overs!! 

For now, so long,

JB - BB

A little festive message from me and the real life Mrs Buttons.

Let's Get Quizzical!!!

"It's not about the winning, or taking part!! It's all about the CHEESE!" {Jamie Brook 2013}

So the cheese went down a storm.  6 different types... One spreadable!  Not one, but two boxes of mixed biscuits, a tasty pot of pate and several variety of crisps.  Who could've asked for more?!

Chris and Liza shared out the wine, I was being good so only had a dribble or 9 and we were off.  The Company quiz 2013 was underway.  And we couldn't have been put with a better team.  The three of us plus Sooz (Fly goddess), Davin (Company Manager), Mr Chris Harvard (long time Yvonne Arnaud crew - and husband to Vicky) and Jenny ( former, yet still much loved YA Crew)! A-team! 

Unfortunately our preoccupation with the cheese did seem to hinder our efforts.  Round One and a grand total of 1 point.... But bloody hell the first round was hard.  

We had lots of "oh I TOLD YOU!" after the answers we're read out and plenty of banter between our team, all between moreish mouthfuls of the soured curds!  The quiz itself was as ever fantastic and very well put together and hosted by Vicky and Scott... With a little featurette, starring Mr PG.  

We even had mandatory controversy....

"How many cinderella pantos this year?" Came the question.

"38" said I.... Come on I work on the celebrate Panto project.

"37" the 'official' comeback..... Ooooh was I miffed.  I checked it later!  I was right!! Extra point miss?

But here's the biggest shocker of the evening.  Happy and content with our nibblets, I predicted we may have pulled it back a tad, since our dismal opening round.  We were last from bottom last year and thought we may top out at third or fourth from bottom... Nope.  9th, 8th, 7th, 6th and 5th place all passed... We waited to hear our name!! 4th and 3rd - nothing! "they've forgotten us!"  2nd?!  NO!!! LADIES AND JELLYSPOONS.... WE ONLY BLOODY WON!!!! First place, a shot of port to celebrate and £98 between us!!! What a result!!

And the secret of our success.... CHEESE!

JB - BB

A'crew'ing New Friends in Pantoland.

"Make new friends, but keep the old; Those are silver, these are gold." {Joseph Parry}

Tonight is QUIZ NIGHT!!! Lovingly put together by our DSM and co- writer Vicky!! I love the quiz night... It brings everyone together with teams mixed with crew, cast, creatives and FOH.  And best of all... I've now secured myself on the team of crew Mother hen Liza and Mr Hairy chin himself, my chum Chris Tindall.  Last year... Although we came second from last, we had a ball with tons of cheese and port.  And this year will be no exception; a little late night, post show, trip to tesco last night saw me gathering our mixed bag of cheeses pleasures!

It's a fantastic idea that came about a few years ago to try and bridge the gap between everyone involved in the show, when the crew had very little to do onstage other than the changes, which of course the banter wasn't present between them and the actors.  The tradition has continued and now Vicky has lots of helpers with the quizzing including a music round (and usually some terrible jokes) from PG, a picture round crafted by the computer and graphic wizard PJ and maybe a co-presenter or two.

As I've mentioned previously there's been quite a dramatic shake up this year at the Arnaud.   We've lost a few old favourites from the crew, but of course have gained some great replacements.  I'm sensing that the whole Guildford Panto experience many have come as a bit of a shock, so hopefully tonight with lots of banter, mixed teams and several crates of special brew.... We'll go from a newly united cast and crew to an indestructible one!! Unless of course we fight over the tie breaker! 

We have our relaxed performance tomorrow, following on from the success of last years project, spearheaded by Nick White.  This is for families who would normally avoid public performances due to their child's varying levels of ability and tolerance.  For this performance we create a safe and laid back performance, which allows these families the chance to enjoy a day out together, without the fear or nervousness of disturbing anyone else.  It was a great experience last year so I'm really looking forward to it... More on the results of that tomorrow.  

Right.... Pour the Port McDuff!!

JB - BB

The Panto Begins to Settle - Unlike our Stomachs.

"Every single night I'm nervous. You never know how the audience is going to react." {Vivienne Leigh}

Well folks it would appear that the Panto lurgy is finally leaving me; last few coughs and splutters I hope.  And the voice is holding out well too!  It is however still spreading.  Tom, our prince! he was all bunged up the other day followed by sister Kitty, and now ol' PG has a bug.  I have honestly never known anything like it... For virtually everyone to have been ill so early in the run.  Let's hope that will be it for this season.  I commented on twitter that we have vitamins, towels, water, buckets and cold compresses all on stand-by in the wings.  And were all slightly nervous to see who will be struck next and.... With what!? The saga continues.....

So press night has been and gone.  We had mainly the local press in on Tuesday!  A number of whom, we will have met on the press launch day or spoken to over the phone.  Wether reviews are slowly starting to trickle in, and although they are a bit of a mixed bag, all seem the think its a great show!! I'm not going to bore you quoting reviews as you can (if you wanted to) search them for yourselves or see www.jamiebrook.co.uk .  I do however want to mention one review which I am the most proud of... As a lover of Panto I was thrilled to read "his obvious mastery of the art of pantomime acting." If I get crappy reviews for the rest of the season... That ones going on the wall!! Haha

You often hear actors, directors and producers alike, talking about whether they bother to read reviews or whether they eventually take any of it to heart.  As I think I mentioned last year however, for me as a performer, still quite wet behind the ears compared to some, it's a great boost to see that your work hasn't passed without note.  I still get very nervous when it comes to opening the show... It's only natural I think... It drives your performance.  One thing I would say... Don't over play it just because you know the press are in.  The critics aren't stupid - they'll see through it. 

I've been doing lots of autograph signing, which is great.  I enjoy it.  again it's another boost to see that people are taking the time and making the effort to come and say hello.  I always have to say the names ten times though, I'm no good with the spelling of names.  

Producer Jamie Barber and director Gerry, have been very complimentary over the past few weeks.  Probably without realising, they have put my mind at rest on numerous occasions  and encouraged where needed.  Both, have shared some very kind words, which I feel very proud of.  At least I don't feel like I've let them down after taking the risk of an "unknown comic?"

Just side-stepping slightly.... We (the Jarvo and I) had an amazing day on Monday... Our day off!!  We got up nice and late, for tea and crumpets, followed by sherry and Christmas songs as we put up our first Christmas tree together.  It looks absolutely fantastic!!! So classy and elegant, even if I do say so myself.  The pictures probably won't do it justice but I'll post one anyway.  We then spent the evening at Winter Wonderland, in Hyde Park.  I was a WW virgin, which surprised Sandy as I'm such a big Christmas fan.  Truth is though I didn't used to have someone to go with... But I do now!!  We had hog roast bags, pies, mulled wine, German beer and my favourite.... DOUGHNUTS!!!  Much fun was had by both, even though Sandy did most of the talking... I was being a little bit sensible. 

Anyway, I'm of for some teriyaki mackerel....! Fishy!

JB - BB

Oh PG!!! You Just Gotta Love him!

So one of our Uglies Peter PG Gordon updated his profile pic on twitter yesterday and I had to share it!!! Talk about a crime watch e-fit!! 

The immaturity of PG!! SPLOSHY!!!

My Buttons Bauble

A treat from my real life Cinders!! 

Mommy and Daddy Buttons!

"Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment." {Dale Carnegie}

So... The Jarvo had to be up and away early today! which gave me chance to get into the theatre and have a bit of brekkie!  I've managed to to decorate the rest of my dressing room now too, so everyone seems to like that and the grottoish level of decoration.  It's no wonder a previous director (Phillip Dart - Buxton 2011/12) called me "the gayest straight man he knew"... Especially with all the glitter, tinsel and cuddley toys in there.  And of course the Panto tree is up... This year with new sparkly lights.  

My mom and dad were down from Brum on Saturday too.  They loved the show and said they were very proud which was a boost.  Mom very kindly said that you wouldn't guess it was my first time as lead comic, doing the songsheet Sheet and they loved the song!!  We went out for a delicious bit of dinner at Zizzi's afterwards and as ever had such a laugh... Usually at my dad's expense!  They were a tad embarrassed I'd got the whole audience to wave and shout "hello mommy and daddy Buttons!" 

So we had a bit of on stage hillarity over the weekend.  Poor old Kit, whilst dressed in quite a restricting costume during the ball scene! completely stacked it going up the stairs.  He crashed to the floor, with wig toppling off and the ensemble and PG (his 'sister') in hysterics.  It was a nice moment for the audience to see and thankfully Kit was ok, if not a little bruised around the pride region.  I couldn't resist adding "Hey Kitty! nice to see you back on your feet!" Which got a titter.

But he soon had his revenge... The following show, on leaving the stage, post their number, PG's wig fell off.  Now.... My old chum PG, will openly admit, that he can't often hold it in when it comes to corpsing!! We both share that inability.  He rushes off stage, tries to fix it, but has to appear in the next scene, searching in the woods.  The sisters arrived laughing before they'd started their dialogue, and the audience soon joined in as they spotted PG's wig was on backwards and completely covering his face.  Our woods scene went for nothing really because we were laughing so much.  When it's time for a little bit of unexpected splash PG absolutely covered me, resulting in an off stage shout "it's not my fault ya wig fell off!"  The audience seemed to like that!

Now As actors, we have to be ready to be occasionally upstaged.  Whether it be by another actor, a prop or some misguided scenery - it happens, especially in Panto.  Myself, Bonnie and Alice however are finding ourselves being upstaged quite frequently.  Upstaged by ill timed ponies and their dolloping poop!  They just can't seem to get on and off stage without leaving a parcel!!  How thoughtful of them!! Suffice to stay with the combination of these little deposits and lots of dry ice it's becoming increasingly difficult to "mind your footing!" As I'm closest to them for the tableaux I'm getting very nervous about inadvertently finding their leavings! 

Speaking of which I'd better go and check my boots!!

JB -  BB

Guildford - May We Present.... Our Pantomime!!

"The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk." {Alvin Barkley}

So the day has arrived.  Despite all the illness and bugs, it's opening day!!! Because Kit has duties for HRH Prince Charles! this time every year! with a private show! director Gerry! stepped in as his stand by for the opening matinee.  Gerry was of course brilliant, knew all the lines and movements better than we did, and was a joy to watch - so well done Gerry!!!

Alice backed off her vocals for the shows and let the ensemble or her relevant stage partner take lead vocals.  I managed to push through with a healthy dose of something from Dr Footlights!!  He always seems to have a cure.  Obviously though, pushing through does ultimately tire your throat out even more - but I'd have to deal with that afterwards.  

The first show went without a hitch, and it was fantastic to finally have an audience to judge what was funny and what... Well.... Wasn't! 

For the opening night, Kit returned and I was joined by a very special lady!!! Sandy was in, and she stopped by before the show with a few gifts bless her!! Lucky buttons!  I received some lovely flowers (gerberas - my faves), some chocolate Buttons (for a little bit of interval cannibalism) and nice little ornament, Cinderella themed for my Panto tree and a "Buttons Bauble!" Loving handmade by the Jarvo herself!!! 

The show went well again, and it was useful to test it on a more mature audience.  I think this years show is definitely one for the kids.  They know and love the story so much they are transfixed and shout out whenever they are required.  We do have less slapstick  and innuendo this year for the adults, but every year cannot be a repeat of the last, and hopefully there's enough there to keep the parents happy.  Judging by the tweets I received after the show! people seem to love it! 

I managed to get through my first two live song sheets, and it was fed back that I handle the children well.  I felt quite nervous doing this, it's quite daunting when your holding the audience, unscripted and still have to try and make them laugh.  hopefully it's something that I'll settle in to. 

I got suited and booted afterwards and met the gorgeous Jarvo! who had also dressed beautifully for the after show drinks with the major and theatre friends.  Again feedback was positive and a few people commented on the obvious promotion from stooge to lead comic.  Me and Sandy celebrated with a nice greasy burger and chips on the way home, and settled down with some T.V and a lot of steaming for me!!

I have to get well!!! And quickly!!

Bye for now!

JB - BB

AWAB!!! Abscent Without Blogging

“Be not sick too late, nor well too soon” {Benjamin Franklin}

Oh deary me boy, girls, ladies and Jellyspoon's!!  What a week and a bit it's been!!!  So much to tell and so little time.  Most of the cast, along with some of the creatives and me have been as sick as a dog, hence I've been being a very good boy and going straight home to bed after rehearsals/shows and sadly not written any blog updates.  I'm glad to say we are all now on the mend - and so will update you in a number of brief posts as to what has been happening.

Firstly, let's cover the producers run.  Despite coughing every other word, that seemed to go quite well without any major cock-ups and gave the team a good look at what we have managed to put together.  Finishing at 4pm was rear as it allowed me the chance to get home earlier and relax.  Unfortunately the extra relaxation time didn't help conquer the illness, which seemed at this point to be getting worse not better.

Back on Monday, and we were finally in to the theatre.  My favourite theatre in the world, the Yvonne Arnaud!! I normally love production week, seeing all the crew and theatre staff again, settling into my dressing room and getting my grotto decorations up.  Sadly, the illness really did stop me from enjoying it as much as I'd have liked.  Sod's law I suppose.  A little cough and a few aches and pains feel like the end of huge world when you're prepping for a show.... Sadly one of Robert's friends has been terminally unwell! and after a quick talk about all of or ailments we both greed that this put things into context.  

Poor Alice had it the worst I think,  she completely lost her voice at one point and couldn't speak or sing.  A quick trip to the doctors revealed it was a check infection, which had to run its course... This is obviously why us asthma sufferers were taking the brunt of it.  We all sat back on it during tech and the first dress, just to make sure we didn't spend ourselves out! 

Production week technically went well, the crew got everything done as and when they needed to and didn't take much extra practice!  Bravo guys!  The only bit that took a little longer was the transformation, but this was inevitable, and time had been allowed.  never work with children or animals, especially ones that leave little parcels everywhere!!! The Ponies not the children!!

For now I bid you adieu, and will see you in the next post, where we reach opening night and some familiar audience members!!! 

JB - BB