There are but very few men clever enough to know all the mischief they do. {Francois de La Rochefoucauld}
We seem to have had our fair share of mishaps and naughtiness going on the past few days, with all sorts of things happening when they shouldn't and one or two of the more senior actors (and me) running amuck.
Our first faux pas I shall mention, is the usually so innocent Alice Baker (Cinders) using a rather unfortunate choice of words, when trying to usher the Uglies out of the auditorium she called to the audience,
"Go on, tell 'em where to go!"
"I beg your pardon Cinders!?" I asked in shock. Poor Alice hadn't realised what she'd said, but it made me chuckle, and her blush!
Now there are times in Panto where things are made to look accidental or appear that they have happened for the first time. It usually happens naturally for the first time and then evolves with the run. A classic example being the sisters mocking my accent. These moments often result in a 'false corpse' where an actor seemingly laughs out of character... Although they have probably laughed in the same place 47 times previously.
Another example, but one that doesn't happen every night, and has a lot to do with whether I can catch him out, and/or whether he is willing, is where PG or peachy falls off the bench in the ghost gag. The legs are positioned so that if the person on either end is the last person to stand the bench will tip. If I can catch him out PG ends up rolling around the floor, allowing me a lovely line "well we didn't do it like this in rehearsals!"
You may notice a bit of a theme running with these mishaps... Two actually. The ghost gag and... Peter Gordon! Skip ahead a show or two and we find ourselves in the same spot, PG's rolling around. I went to help him up as I normally would, not noticing that he had already got to his feet. What ensued was a pair of perfectly placed hands, upon Peachy's ample breast. "Excuse me!" PG called through laughter, as I shook and blew my hands towards the audience, stating that I thought "my luck had changed!"
And it would turn out my luck was changing, for better or worse you can decide. Maybe it was the festivities in the air, maybe one or two too many sherries had been sunk the night before or maybe they just couldn't (and who could blame them) resist, but over the weekend a particular area of my anatomy, below the waist but above the knee, has been fondled by a member or three of the cast!!
First of all our confirmed reoffender, Peachy!! We had, unusually for us, found ourselves on the bench yet again in a fit of giggles. PG puts his hands out to my knees, as is set in the handclap routine. Unfortunately for him, I had found myself a little further forward on the bench, and so instead of a gentle slap on my right knee, he found the aforementioned region. "Oh I say missus!!! Keep your hands to yourself!" Thankfully what had happened came across to the audience and they were able to share in Peachy's cheap thrill.
Next it was the turn of our Baron, Robert, who had a bit of a shock when, putting his hand to his side, as he does every show, for a reassuring grasp on Buttons' arm upon the arrival of the Royal Prince... Suddenly found himself in the possession of some Crown Jewels of his own!! Off stage and through a cheeky giggle Rob asked, "did I shake grab you by the ....." Let's say 'bull hooks' for the sake of keeping this Cert.PG!!
Could Buttons take anymore of this cast caressingI hear you cry!! Well only one way to find out... Me and Cinders are upstage, looking on disapprovingly at the sisters torturing the Baron! when she too looked to Buttons for comfort. Cue an even bigger blush from Cinders and an "excuse me Cinders - mind your hands!" All in all and "uplifting" couple of shows!
In other news: I'd been saying to Sandy and a few people at the theatre, that it was a good job this winter has been quite mild so far... With the amount of rain we've been having, a few degrees colder and we'd have been buried. The ran has been so heavy, that as I was standing by prompt corner at the Sunday matinee, waiting for an entrance, I noticed a drop of water splash onto the pit monitor. "What was that!?" - no one seemed flustered, I don't think anyone believed me, until I showed them the back of a now wet screen. By the evening show a special "Vicky Jukes Prompt Pod" had been fashioned from some tall polls and some plastic sheeting. Suffice to say I think poor Vicky got a bit hot and steamy, wrapped up like last nights left overs!!
For now, so long,
JB - BB
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